It is only Saturday evening and been a trying three days with food.
First, Bobby brought home pizza Thursday night. I am proud to say, I didn't eat any. I ate a lean Turkey burger, which was just as delicious.
Yesterday, I made ground turkey enchilada's which tasted wonderful, but half and half on the healthy scale due to the enchilada sauce. I didn't read the label until afterward. 5 g of fat for a 1/4 c of sauce. Get out of town! Last night, I bit the bullet and ate half of a medium oreo cookie blizzard from DQ. If it wouldn't have been slightly melted by the time Bobby got home with it, I probably would have eaten the whole thing.
Today, I have done okay but could have done better. I ate leftover enchilada's for a late lunch and ate a good size chocolate chip cookie from Costco. Bobby bought the cookies today and they are so good and soft. It is taking as much strength as I can muster not to eat 2 more. I keep walking by the counter and they are calling me, "Rachel, just one more. Just one more." So, I went for a brief jog, and then walking with my friend. Now it is time for black beans for dinner.
This battle with crappy food has to be won. I think boredom is a big part of it. Keep me busy and I'm good. Tomorrow, I will paint the laundry room, which I have been talking about for months. That should take the day and less time for snacking.
In the meantime, I am putting the cookies on top of the fridge, because you all know, I'm not tall enough to see them up there and I'd have to get a ladder to fetch them.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
RANDOM THOUGHTS
It is Friday morning and I'm sitting here with my cup of coffee and random thoughts.
I'm still doing Jillian's 30 day shred and ready to move onto level 2, I believe. I'm still doing girl push ups, but they're easy now, so to me, that means progress. I'm eating less and down 2-3 pounds. I haven't measured inches, because that will be my discouragement. I'd rather think of my weight loss as fat loss, instead of the water loss, I'm sure it is. In a few weeks, we'll see what the real results are.
Has anyone ever said anything to you when you were younger that you have never forgotten? Is it something you believe that has impacted your thought process on who you are? Is it something that has caused you to obsess?
When I was probably 15, if not younger, my dad told me I would always "fight the battle of the bulge." A family friend told me if I didn't stop eating chips and dip, my hips were gonna look like his sister's. Isn't it amazing how we never forget, word for word, what someone tells us? Those are the two sentences that plague me every time my weight goes up from over eating.
Yes, I want to look good, not look my age, and feel good about myself. Is it for me? In a sense it is. Is it for my dad who is no longer alive, and the family friend that probably has a huge beer gut? Definitely, because I have to prove them wrong, even though I'll never see them. Is it psychologically correct to feel this way? NO. Do I know it? YES. Can I help it? I'm trying, but it is part of my motivation.
I have always tried to not be a superficial person. I don't have to have name brand clothes, shoes, and purses, which is not superficial, just a brand preference. I do, however, like to keep my hair in good shape and spend good money on it. I don't wear much make-up, if any at all, depending on my mood. I have grown out of that, "look at me" phase of my life. I'd rather go unnoticed. I do, however, want to have that perfect figure. Not that any of you are gonna see it, but I want to see it when I look in the mirror. Belly fat gone!
I envy all the ladies out there that embrace their curves and have the confidence to wear leggings, tight tops, and short skirts, but I am not one of them. And probably, never will be, no matter how thin I get.
I'm still doing Jillian's 30 day shred and ready to move onto level 2, I believe. I'm still doing girl push ups, but they're easy now, so to me, that means progress. I'm eating less and down 2-3 pounds. I haven't measured inches, because that will be my discouragement. I'd rather think of my weight loss as fat loss, instead of the water loss, I'm sure it is. In a few weeks, we'll see what the real results are.
Has anyone ever said anything to you when you were younger that you have never forgotten? Is it something you believe that has impacted your thought process on who you are? Is it something that has caused you to obsess?
When I was probably 15, if not younger, my dad told me I would always "fight the battle of the bulge." A family friend told me if I didn't stop eating chips and dip, my hips were gonna look like his sister's. Isn't it amazing how we never forget, word for word, what someone tells us? Those are the two sentences that plague me every time my weight goes up from over eating.
Yes, I want to look good, not look my age, and feel good about myself. Is it for me? In a sense it is. Is it for my dad who is no longer alive, and the family friend that probably has a huge beer gut? Definitely, because I have to prove them wrong, even though I'll never see them. Is it psychologically correct to feel this way? NO. Do I know it? YES. Can I help it? I'm trying, but it is part of my motivation.
I have always tried to not be a superficial person. I don't have to have name brand clothes, shoes, and purses, which is not superficial, just a brand preference. I do, however, like to keep my hair in good shape and spend good money on it. I don't wear much make-up, if any at all, depending on my mood. I have grown out of that, "look at me" phase of my life. I'd rather go unnoticed. I do, however, want to have that perfect figure. Not that any of you are gonna see it, but I want to see it when I look in the mirror. Belly fat gone!
I envy all the ladies out there that embrace their curves and have the confidence to wear leggings, tight tops, and short skirts, but I am not one of them. And probably, never will be, no matter how thin I get.
Friday, February 18, 2011
New Jeans!
This morning was day 4 of Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred. It is getting easier, but I'm actually getting tired of looking at her. I don't mind her sidekicks in the back, but Jillian herself is getting annoying. During her lunge curls she instructs, "Just a couple more to go, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." A couple is 2, not 5. Absolutely aggravates me, especially when I'd rather do a couple more, not 5. Then she wears these sweat pants that are rolled over at the top. Yeah, I don't like that either. Am I loathing Jillian, or the workout? I haven't decided that yet. Probably both.
So, I purchased new pair of jeans last Friday. It is the first pair I have bought in like 3 years. I don't know about the rest of you, but jeans are my arch enemy, as well as the dressing room mirrors. But, I needed some new jeans, so I broke down and bought a pair. They looked absolutely hideous on and I tried on 4 different pairs, but said screw it, maybe they'll look better in my mirror at home, and they do. And guess what? They fit perfect! Not too tight and not too big. I'm so excited. Bet you think it is because I lost weight, right? Nope, I just bought a bigger size :) Sometimes you just have to face reality, that you're not that smaller size anymore and not even attempt to try a smaller size. I finally have a pair of jeans that do not cut off the circulation in my legs, don't flatten my ass into a pancake, and give me a muffin top. SCORE!
Have a good weekend all! I'm going to attempt to jog a few miles if it isn't raining. I'll need those few miles jogged if I binge on junk food like I normally do.
So, I purchased new pair of jeans last Friday. It is the first pair I have bought in like 3 years. I don't know about the rest of you, but jeans are my arch enemy, as well as the dressing room mirrors. But, I needed some new jeans, so I broke down and bought a pair. They looked absolutely hideous on and I tried on 4 different pairs, but said screw it, maybe they'll look better in my mirror at home, and they do. And guess what? They fit perfect! Not too tight and not too big. I'm so excited. Bet you think it is because I lost weight, right? Nope, I just bought a bigger size :) Sometimes you just have to face reality, that you're not that smaller size anymore and not even attempt to try a smaller size. I finally have a pair of jeans that do not cut off the circulation in my legs, don't flatten my ass into a pancake, and give me a muffin top. SCORE!
Have a good weekend all! I'm going to attempt to jog a few miles if it isn't raining. I'll need those few miles jogged if I binge on junk food like I normally do.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
"Tough Titty" Tuesday
"Tough titty, said the kitty, when the milk went dry."
It is my own fault that I went to bed at 10:30 pm last night, but I couldn't manage to put the book down I was reading. I knew I would regret it this morning and I did. I woke up before the alarm went off, after another crappy night of sleep. I'm really starting to think that the reason I'm not sleeping good, is because I know I have to get up at 4:30 am. I was so comfy by 4:30 am, with my faithful Sweetie (dog), laying next to me with her head on my chest. I know she didn't want me to get up either.
As I slug into the living room, Mouse the cat is right behind me. He makes his way to my yoga mat before me, and proceeds to use it as a scratching post. Nice! Well, at least he enjoys that thin piece of rubber, because I don't. I do believe I need to buy a thicker one this weekend, because it does not support my "girl" push-ups at all, and my knees are bruised.
Jillian was not as enjoyable today as yesterday, but I made it, with no water breaks. Did I feel invigorated after I was done? NO. I could have crawled right back into bed. My muscles are achey, which means it must be doing something. Too bad results don't happen over night.
My eating habits are still less than stellar. I ate some potato chips with my little bit of pasta last night. I'll blame my husband for having them on the table :) At least I eat good through out the day at work. I just need to work on home habits. Geeeh, it used to be so easy for me to eat healthy. Now it is a struggle. My weakness is chips and always has been. That is where my link comes in: chips-n-dip-hips !
It is my own fault that I went to bed at 10:30 pm last night, but I couldn't manage to put the book down I was reading. I knew I would regret it this morning and I did. I woke up before the alarm went off, after another crappy night of sleep. I'm really starting to think that the reason I'm not sleeping good, is because I know I have to get up at 4:30 am. I was so comfy by 4:30 am, with my faithful Sweetie (dog), laying next to me with her head on my chest. I know she didn't want me to get up either.
As I slug into the living room, Mouse the cat is right behind me. He makes his way to my yoga mat before me, and proceeds to use it as a scratching post. Nice! Well, at least he enjoys that thin piece of rubber, because I don't. I do believe I need to buy a thicker one this weekend, because it does not support my "girl" push-ups at all, and my knees are bruised.
Jillian was not as enjoyable today as yesterday, but I made it, with no water breaks. Did I feel invigorated after I was done? NO. I could have crawled right back into bed. My muscles are achey, which means it must be doing something. Too bad results don't happen over night.
My eating habits are still less than stellar. I ate some potato chips with my little bit of pasta last night. I'll blame my husband for having them on the table :) At least I eat good through out the day at work. I just need to work on home habits. Geeeh, it used to be so easy for me to eat healthy. Now it is a struggle. My weakness is chips and always has been. That is where my link comes in: chips-n-dip-hips !
Monday, February 14, 2011
Monday Breakdown...
Alright Belly fat fans, I did it, I got my ass out of bed at 4:30 this morning. I actually woke up at 4:29. One minute before the alarm went off. I know, you're proud, right? I laid there until 4:33 though, rubbing my eyes and contemplating, " Should I really get up? I didn't sleep for crap, which is normal, but what the hell, I'd only be getting another hour's worth of sleep, which I'll probably wake up every 10 minutes and look at the clock anyway."
I dressed and walked to the kitchen and took one Xenadrine to give me my caffeine jolt. I'd prefer coffee, but the acid reflux is horrendous first thing in the morning after you have been jumping up and down. After 20 minutes of sitting at the computer, scrolling facebook, I made it to the living room and layed out my yoga mat and started right up with Jillian. Uuuugh. Jumping jacks, really? 9 minutes 5 seconds into the video I had to hit pause for a water break. Next break, 5 minutes later. Jillian's 20 minute work out, turned into a 30 minute work out. But, hey, I did it and it really wasn't that bad and went by pretty quick. I have come to the conclusion though, my 5 lb. weights are much too heavy for those side lunges. When I swapped to using one 5 lb. weight holding it with both hands, it was still too heavy. WTH!
After all was said and done, I stepped on the scale and took my measurements. Let me remind you that it may seem like I don't weigh that much, but I'm only 4'11. So, here it goes, official Day 1 of working out and "trying" to watch what I eat and food intake:
Weight: 119.2 lbs
I know what you're thinking. Oh, that is nothing. I'm sure you look great or you do look great. But, there is a difference between looking and feeling. I feel like crap. Physically & mentally. 10 years ago, I weighed 103 lbs, 25 in. waist, 35 in. rump, and 34 in. hips. Oh and I was around 16% body fat. Now I'm at probably 24% body fat, if not more. Yes, I'm gonna be 33 this summer, but that is no excuse for letting myself go the way I have.
My hubby mentions how I never dress myself up or wear make-up anymore. Well, that is because I feel like crap and have no motivation to make myself look any better. It is time to start taking care of me again now that my son is old enough to fend for himself. Then it comes into making the time. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of not working, having a personal chef, or a personal trainer. I'm working full time, going to college full time (which takes up more time than I imagined), and being a Mom. Oh and a wife when I can fit it in :)
Lets see what the week brings!
I dressed and walked to the kitchen and took one Xenadrine to give me my caffeine jolt. I'd prefer coffee, but the acid reflux is horrendous first thing in the morning after you have been jumping up and down. After 20 minutes of sitting at the computer, scrolling facebook, I made it to the living room and layed out my yoga mat and started right up with Jillian. Uuuugh. Jumping jacks, really? 9 minutes 5 seconds into the video I had to hit pause for a water break. Next break, 5 minutes later. Jillian's 20 minute work out, turned into a 30 minute work out. But, hey, I did it and it really wasn't that bad and went by pretty quick. I have come to the conclusion though, my 5 lb. weights are much too heavy for those side lunges. When I swapped to using one 5 lb. weight holding it with both hands, it was still too heavy. WTH!
After all was said and done, I stepped on the scale and took my measurements. Let me remind you that it may seem like I don't weigh that much, but I'm only 4'11. So, here it goes, official Day 1 of working out and "trying" to watch what I eat and food intake:
Weight: 119.2 lbs
Waist: 29 in.
Rump: 37.5 in.
Hips: 35.75 in.I know what you're thinking. Oh, that is nothing. I'm sure you look great or you do look great. But, there is a difference between looking and feeling. I feel like crap. Physically & mentally. 10 years ago, I weighed 103 lbs, 25 in. waist, 35 in. rump, and 34 in. hips. Oh and I was around 16% body fat. Now I'm at probably 24% body fat, if not more. Yes, I'm gonna be 33 this summer, but that is no excuse for letting myself go the way I have.
My hubby mentions how I never dress myself up or wear make-up anymore. Well, that is because I feel like crap and have no motivation to make myself look any better. It is time to start taking care of me again now that my son is old enough to fend for himself. Then it comes into making the time. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of not working, having a personal chef, or a personal trainer. I'm working full time, going to college full time (which takes up more time than I imagined), and being a Mom. Oh and a wife when I can fit it in :)
Lets see what the week brings!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Sunday Night Bulge
So, here I am, finally starting a blog of my weight demise. Are you one of those people that start a diet every Monday and then gorge all weekend? I am. Every Sunday night, I tell myself, I can't believe I am having such a hard time controlling my eating and portions on the weekends. Now, I feel like a total fat ass!!! Let me set the alarm for Monday morning, so I can once again start the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I haven't mentioned that I set the alarm early every Monday to start the workout, but never get up.
It was so much easier before I had my son and all I had to cater to was myself. Is it being over 30, having a child, working full time, staying up late? I need to stop making excuses and make myself accountable for the habits that I have let consume me. My bad eating habits. My son is full of energy, so I can't use him as my excuse for being lazy. I need to use him as my excuse to start getting busy.
We were going to go for a bike ride today. He was going to ride his bike and I was going to jog beside him. Well, we came home from the store, ate lunch, and I fell into a food coma and took a two hour nap. Needless to say, we didn't exercise today.
So, here I sit at the computer, my stomach rolls talking to each other like every Sunday night reminiscing of the crunches they didn't do or jog they didn't get in.
Tomorrow is Monday. My yoga mat is out, 5 pound weights out, and Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred sitting next to the DVD player. Lets see if I get up early tomorrow and actually work out.
It was so much easier before I had my son and all I had to cater to was myself. Is it being over 30, having a child, working full time, staying up late? I need to stop making excuses and make myself accountable for the habits that I have let consume me. My bad eating habits. My son is full of energy, so I can't use him as my excuse for being lazy. I need to use him as my excuse to start getting busy.
We were going to go for a bike ride today. He was going to ride his bike and I was going to jog beside him. Well, we came home from the store, ate lunch, and I fell into a food coma and took a two hour nap. Needless to say, we didn't exercise today.
So, here I sit at the computer, my stomach rolls talking to each other like every Sunday night reminiscing of the crunches they didn't do or jog they didn't get in.
Tomorrow is Monday. My yoga mat is out, 5 pound weights out, and Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred sitting next to the DVD player. Lets see if I get up early tomorrow and actually work out.
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