It is Friday morning and I'm sitting here with my cup of coffee and random thoughts.
I'm still doing Jillian's 30 day shred and ready to move onto level 2, I believe. I'm still doing girl push ups, but they're easy now, so to me, that means progress. I'm eating less and down 2-3 pounds. I haven't measured inches, because that will be my discouragement. I'd rather think of my weight loss as fat loss, instead of the water loss, I'm sure it is. In a few weeks, we'll see what the real results are.
Has anyone ever said anything to you when you were younger that you have never forgotten? Is it something you believe that has impacted your thought process on who you are? Is it something that has caused you to obsess?
When I was probably 15, if not younger, my dad told me I would always "fight the battle of the bulge." A family friend told me if I didn't stop eating chips and dip, my hips were gonna look like his sister's. Isn't it amazing how we never forget, word for word, what someone tells us? Those are the two sentences that plague me every time my weight goes up from over eating.
Yes, I want to look good, not look my age, and feel good about myself. Is it for me? In a sense it is. Is it for my dad who is no longer alive, and the family friend that probably has a huge beer gut? Definitely, because I have to prove them wrong, even though I'll never see them. Is it psychologically correct to feel this way? NO. Do I know it? YES. Can I help it? I'm trying, but it is part of my motivation.
I have always tried to not be a superficial person. I don't have to have name brand clothes, shoes, and purses, which is not superficial, just a brand preference. I do, however, like to keep my hair in good shape and spend good money on it. I don't wear much make-up, if any at all, depending on my mood. I have grown out of that, "look at me" phase of my life. I'd rather go unnoticed. I do, however, want to have that perfect figure. Not that any of you are gonna see it, but I want to see it when I look in the mirror. Belly fat gone!
I envy all the ladies out there that embrace their curves and have the confidence to wear leggings, tight tops, and short skirts, but I am not one of them. And probably, never will be, no matter how thin I get.
I completely understand what you're saying. I have a stockpile of every mean dig anyone ever said to me growing up. I have a bevy of them to choose from on any given day. It's exhausting and you already said it yourself... Chips n' dip hips guy is more than likely a bald fatty by now or do you need to give me his name so I can track it down and prove it to you? If you feel this badly about yourself we need to get you to a state fair STAT so you can see where the truly heinous roam.
ReplyDeleteNot like it makes a difference, but I think your body is super hot.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget God also blessed you with a gorgeous face. That takes plastic surgery for ugly people to fix, and not all of them can really make it look nearly as good as yours.
For every superficial criticism you have of yourself, start writing three compliments. Like your hair is fabulous and your walking style is cute and not funky and you're pretty much the hottest mom at Mason's school ;)
Just remember that continually working out is going to make you healthy for life. Yay for healthy!