I've been on weight watchers since January 6th and have come a long way with working out and a healthy diet. I'm 4'11 and started at 112 and down to 105. This is with exercise dedication and eating healthy and not over eating. I don't want to keep losing, but just lean up. This is a good starting point now. I've already leaned up quite a bit. However, I'm really in a battle with my midsection still. Granted it looks way better and I've lost inches, my torso will never be pre-Mason again. I won out and didn't get stretch marks from my pregnancy, but my rib cage is transformed into something odd from my perspective. It doesn't help that I'm short and have a short torso. It is almost like my torso morphs into my hips. In other words, no curves! I'm still happy with the changes though. I have eaten out since my last post and not nearly as strict about it. I still don't eat out frequently and if I do, it is a treat. I watch people around me eat out almost every day for lunch and some days twice for lunch and dinner. Then those same people complain about gaining weight. Eating out is not your friend! There are way more calories in that food than you're probably guesstimating. One co-worker gets a 6 in meatball sub from Subway. On weight watchers, if you're allowed 26 points a day, such as myself, that 6 in sub is 12 points. That is why I love weight watchers, because it really shows you the big picture of what you're eating and what you put in your mouth contributes to your daily allowance of calories.
As I've mentioned before in my previous blog posts about my battle with depression and anxiety. I think I'm past the depression, but my anxiety is still crazy high. I'm a super busy person and can't stand being still. I always have some sort of home project going on, because that is what I love. My anxiety and stress level (of my own doing, I'm sure) makes me extremely moody and agitated. My mood can flip a switch in one minute. I know it is genetics to some degree and I've fought for years to naturally control it with exercise and "trying" to relax. I even did some behavioral therapy for awhile. That worked briefly. It has been a year since I talked to the therapist and my mood swings have not subsided. They're so bad, I don't even like myself. I try to control it, but I can't. I can feel the switch coming and I can't turn it off. After a day of some shopping with my family and the agitation of going to Costco with the crowds of various patrons, I was exhausted when I got home. My anxiety was so high that I tried to feed it to calm my nerves. I ate two servings of chips (all that was left in the bag) and two pieces of chocolate. Did it help, NO?! I sat on the couch trying to decompress and fell asleep for an hour. Think there is a problem, yes?! there is. I made an appointment the next day to see my doctor and went back on an anti-depressant. It worked before from what I can remember. It has been over 5 years. I think I'm on a higher dose this time starting out, so we will see how I feel in about a month. I'm ready to be a calmer person and not so damn cranky all the time. My poor son and husband get the wrath. At least I recognize it and am doing something about it. I just want to feel "normal" and not so keyed up all the time.
Off I go to the gym and to make a vet appointment for Spot. Poor guy had a respiratory infection a month ago and now he has another one ;-( I don't know if it is allergy triggered or what from him rolling in the weeds and grass on our walks, but I don't like seeing him down and out with a snotty nose. I love my bully dogs!
No comments:
Post a Comment